The baby was on you all night long, and around 2am, your toddler gave you a swift right-hook while you were happily in dreamland.
You don’t want to wake up to your alarm, and that’s why you set six alerts in succession.
You finally awake with the last.
You go to make coffee, but the baby doesn’t want you to put her down and your oldest, well, in her attempt to help you out and be independent, she spilled the milk that she was pouring for your middle child and it went everywhere.
Where’s your partner? Getting ready for work.
Okay, back to the spilled milk and the coffee.
You finish brewing and pour yourself a cup then try to put the baby down so you can clean the mess. Not happening. Baby wants you and only you at this moment, and so you clean the milk that has now seeped under the fridge and the pantry as best you can. You use the whole roll of paper towels only to realize that you forgot to buy more when you were at the store.
Why can’t you remember these things? Why are you always so ‘all over the place’?
Oh, yeah — ’cause kids.
Milk is cleaned up, the baby is still in your arms, and you take a sip of your hot coffee. Just one sip; that’s all that is allowed because the whining has begun.
“I’m hungrrrrrryy” one bellows.
“I can’t get the channel to change! Can you help?” the oldest asks.
“Don’t put me down” the baby so lovingly, yet slightly annoyingly requests.
Okay. Everyone has breakfast, and you have managed to break free from the glue that the baby so happily attached herself to you with.
Time to catch up on some news.
Bubble Guppies it is. Until it’s not. And then its Elena of Avalor. Oh wait, let’s watch The Greatest Showman for the umpteenth time this week.
Okay, you’re fine with that ’cause secretly (okay, not even secretly) you LOVE that movie.
Oh no. Now everyone is so into what’s on the screen no one is focusing on their breakfast. Now you are running late. You rush to your room and get yourself together.
HA! “Together” — such a relative term when you are a parent.
But, do you know who does look put together? Your partner. Yep, always killing it in the appearance department.
Oh, well. You should feel proud of that and not jealous, right?
Time for clothes; theirs and yours, and time to clean up the mess those hooligans managed to create in less than thirty minutes.
It’s potty and brush teeth, clothes and backpack time.
You all kiss the one that goes to work, and then you head toward the door. Upon approaching it, you remember your coffee, sitting in the kitchen — the same coffee that once was hot and steamy and delicious. You run back to take a quick sip and just as you suspected, it’s cold. Good thing you have become acclimated to the taste. You chug it.
Back to the front door and now two out of three are crying. Apparently calling your sisters “doody-heads” will offend them and lead to them being inconsolable for just the right amount of time when you are trying to get everyone and their lunches and backpacks out the door.
Us mothers have it hard, don’t we? It’s hard to leave our babies and go work at a job outside of the home.
BUT, it’s not really any harder than this stay-at-home dad has it while tending to all of the needs and wants of his pint-sized loved ones; it’s just a day in the life.