Gosh. For me, the concept of beauty has always been somewhat of a struggle to understand. Of course, I know — thanks to my parents, family, and those who have helped over the years to set my moral compass — that inner beauty and having a kind, compassionate, respectable, and respectful heart is most important. Yet, I’ve always been somewhat, dare I say, obsessed with outer beauty and my appearance.
I have always experimented with my look. Even from a young age, I enjoyed taking liberties with my self-expression via my style and my appearance. But, I am not sure if when I was younger, I gave the impression that my outer beauty matched the inner beauty I knew I possessed.
Bonding over Beauty: A Mother-Daughter Beauty Guide to Foster Self-esteem, Confidence, and Trust written by author Erika Katz (who also penned the vastly popular book, Coach Parenting: Raising Teenagers with Advice from Pro Football’s Greatest Head Coaches) will help you guide your daughter into womanhood at an age-appropriate pace in accordance with your daughter’s physical, intellectual, and emotional development.
Your daughter should not be learning how to be a strong, confident, intelligent, beautiful, and respectable woman living a respectable life from Laguna Beach, The Kardashians, or Cosmo she should be learning about life – FROM YOU.
The crux of Erika’s book is that if you want your daughter to listen to you and believe what you are expressing, she must trust you. But, how do you earn her trust? And, more importantly, how do you keep it? How much information should you give your daughter, and when and how do you give it?
These are all tough questions answered by Erika for us. As you read Bonding Over Beauty, Erika emphasizes that your daughter’s self-esteem must be kept front and center at all times, even if it means reevaluating your own ideals of beauty and self-confidence.
In the book’s Introduction, Erika shares a raw tidbit of information from her own life that reminds each of us the issues that arise when we do not prepare and discuss important and sometimes uncomfortable topics with our children.
Erika openly shares about the time she got her first menstrual period. Her mother had not talked to her about this monthly biological occurrence and she did not know what to expect. When she wanted to use a tampon, her mother just repeating what her mother told her, informed her that “virgins cannot use them”. After a visit to the pediatrician who dispelled that myth, Erika had trouble always trusting her mother’s advice when it came to those types of things. Although we, as moms, may not be comfortable with each and every topic we must discuss with our daughters Erika emphasizes how being a trusted resource on health and beauty issues is a key element to building trust between mother and daughter.
More than anything, Bonding Over Beauty helps mothers and daughters engage in a healthy dialogue and honest communication about life’s confusing and sometimes challenging topics.
Here are some of the topics covered in the book:
- Hair Care Basics
- Hair Growth and Health
- Hair Product Tips/Styling Tools
- Caring for/Styling ALL Types of Hair
- Tips for Choosing a Stylist/Colorist
Makeup & Brows
- Is She Ready for Makeup?
- Makeup Rules
- Finding the Right Makeup
- Makeup “Rules of Thumb”
- Must-Have Makeup Tools
- How to Create a Complete Look
- Everyday 3-Minute Makeup Routine
- Ways to Bond Over Makeup
Hands & Feet
- Need to Know Glossary for Nail/Toe Care
- Hand & Foot Care 101
- At-Home Mani/Pedi Guide
- Foot Massages
- Troubleshooting Nail and Foot Problems
- Athlete’s Foot/Fungus/Warts/In-Grown Toenail Treatment
- Ways to Bond Over Hair & Foot Care
- Removal Q & A
- How to Get Rid of Hair
- Need to Know Glossary of Hair Removal Terms
- Shaving / Waxing / Tweezing / Threading / Bleaching
- Electrolysis & Thermolysis
- Ways to Bond Over Hair Removal
Puberty and Hygiene
- Body Odor (of All Kinds)
- Need to Know Menstruation Glossary
- Common Health Problems
- Ways to Bond Over Puberty and Hygiene
- Sleep-Away Camp
- Packing Checklist for Long Trips
- Going Out-Of-State or Abroad
Nutrition & Fitness
- In Your Kitchen
- Eating for Great Skin
- Foods to Avoid
- Great Snacks
- Importance of Hydration
- Nutritional Supplements
- “The Beauty Diet”
- Creating an Exercise Regimen
- Using the Right Skin Care Products
- What Skin Care Products to Buy
- Need to Know Skin Care Glossary
- Caring for Your Face
- What’s Your Skin Type?
- Caring for ALL Skin Types
- Caring for Acne-Prone Skin
- Caring for Sensitive Skin
- Guide to Blackheads and Pimples
- At-Home Facials
- Skin Care for the Body
- Sun Care
- Skin Discoloration
- Ways to Bond Over Skin Care
The key takeaway from Bonding Over Beauty for me was that we have to help our daughters deal with the joys as well as the struggles they face as they transition into womanhood. Erika reminds us that our goal is not to make our daughter beautiful – because children are beautiful without any help from us – but rather to be our daughter’s trusted resource as well as role model.
Bonding Over Beauty is about so much more than how to craft the perfect French braid or apply lipstick. It’s about creating and maintaining a trusted mutual bond between a mother and daughter – a necessary precursor for your daughter’s smooth (as can be) transition into womanhood.
My daughter is only six, but in all truth, she has already shown concern and interest in “beauty” and all that it entails. I plan to use this book and my experiences as my go-to resources so that I can be the best resource for my daughter. Each chapter contains fun ways to bond with your daughter by using beauty as a way to connect. I am so excited to experience all the ways we can have fun and learn from one another.
Ultimately, my daughter will have the tips/tools/tricks to rock her style (whatever that style may be) and own it with confidence. She will also grow up knowing that not only did she and her mother bond over beauty, but we enhanced the true beauty found in the mother-daughter relationship.
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