“Pump your brakes!”
Has your husband or a family member ever told you this? How about a well-meaning friend? I pretty much hear this daily from someone one in my life. Even my children, using their own words, basically tell me that.
So, what’s my deal? Why is everyone always telling me to chill out? Because I am a control-freak, anxiety-ridden, conclusion-jumping, have to talk it out and hammer it home, kind of person. Ugh! Sounds exhausting right? I must be exhausting to deal with (sniff, sniff, tear). How about you? Does anyone think you are exhausting?
I mean, for real, the other day I went into a gas station convenience store, with all three of my children, and after handing over our food and beverage purchases, I informed the clerk that I also needed to get quarters in exchange for my dollars. You know how he responded to me, he threw his hands up in the air and said “okay, okay, calm down, calm down”. WHAT?! “I am calm!” I told him. I mean as calm as I could be with three, hot, sweaty and tired kids inside of a dingy convenience store. But, this brought to my attention (this and the other million times that everyone I know tells me to “relax”) that maybe I just lead with an aggressive, over-the-top, overwhelmed and/or overwhelming energy. This is not good.
So, what should those control-freak, anxiety-ridden, conclusion-jumping, have to talk it out and hammer it home, kind of people, like myself, do about this?
Here is what I am thinking…
- Give away some control. See, the thing about being a control freak, is sometimes you don’t even realize you are one, until you have lost control and then you freak out. Yep, happens to me all the time. Us control freaks need to stop trying to control all people and my circumstances, every minute, of every day of our lives. We need to let someone else take on that ridiculously boring task and instead, have more fun and be more spontaneous.
- Stop over-analyzing and keep things simple. We need to stop trying to pick up every piece of the dropped puzzle. Stop asking why the puzzle dropped, how it happened and questioning as to why someone would let that happen. LET IT FREAKIN’ GO. We need to leave those puzzle pieces on the floor and move it the heck on!
- Be open-minded and flexible. I am so not flexible — but I should be. We NEED to be flexible. Flexible people don’t get bent out of shape. Yep…mull that one over!
- Consider using essential oils. I have only dabbled with them when I received samples a couple of months back, but I did feel more of a sense of calm. Could have been all in my head, could have been the oils, who knows…but, I felt good and more relaxed and that is all that matters. Maybe you should try some…
- Exercise more. We all know that experts say, and research shows, that those who exercise, even only for a short period of time, at least once a day, feel better. This is the truth. So lets all get out and go for more walks.
- Fill someone else’s bucket. We surprise ourselves by how good we feel and how improved our attitude becomes after we do something nice for someone else. We should try to do this more.
- Drink more wine. No description needed here.
Got other suggestions? Bring them on, because I sure need all the help I can get.
Let me just say this though — if you happen to run into me out in the world, on any given day, and you see me and you think that maybe it is a good idea to tell me to “calm it down,” please refrain, as I am working on it.