Dear Little Girl With The Smart Mouth,
I know you probably think that I am about to come down on you — that this is the moment when you are going to be chastised for that mouth which likes to run, and often gets away from you. Well, you are about to be surprised little lady. My tirade I am about to have right here, well, it is not one in which you will be put in your place and reminded to be respectful. Why you ask? Because for the most part you are respectful, you are just opinionated, and that should be admired and encouraged.
It is very important for children, especially young girls, to understand and believe in the power of their voice. For them to know and confidently believe that what they have to say is important, should be heard, and valued. As parents, we often muzzle our children and suppress their opinions. Whether done voluntarily or involuntarily, this is a mistake.
What I want to tell you about your voice and your opinions is this:
- You must try to focus on spreading kindness with your words — not hate or negativity.
- You should never stay silent about things that matter.
- You always have permission to use your voice.
- Your own voice has the ability to motivate you, as well as others.
- You should be sure to share your words in a respectful and humble way.
- You need to always speak the truth.
- You can raise your words, but do not raise your voice.
- Be mindful of remembering to think before you speak.
- Believe that your opinion holds no more weight than another person’s.
- Recognize that the best opinions are those that are formulated based on facts, logic, good reasoning, and intelligence.
- And this is extremely important — never allow yourself to be silenced by someone else’s voice.
These are just the basics of how to use that smart mouth of yours appropriately and effectively. You will, no doubt, learn more rules of communication and banter as you grow up. Let my suggestions be stepping stones for you…let them be your guide.
And, do you want to know why I keep referring to your mouth as “smart”? Well, because it is. 90% of the time, when you “talk back” to your dad and I, you are making a valid point — one that should be heard. And thankfully, you already have the confidence and strength of character to drive us to listen to you — something we should always be doing anyway.
You know those parents that worry because their child is a “smart-a**”? I’m not worried. I know you will turn out just fine; and do you know how I know that?
Because you are my daughter, and you are every bit of me when I was younger.
I appreciate the tenacity with which you approach life, it’s matters, the people in it, and the conversations about it. So many important, successful, and respected people in this world came to be such because they would not let their voice be muffled, and neither do you.
With love,
Your Momma
If you’re wondering where I got the inspiration for this letter to my daughter, it was from Notes to My Daughter Before You Go — an inspirational book, filled with beautiful black and white photographs, as well as positive tidbits of wisdom and gentle guidance from a mother to her daughter as she journeys out of childhood. For those of you interested in writing down your own handwritten notes for your child, on something nicer than a sticky-note with the option of making them into a sort of keepsake for him/her, check out this Notes to My Daughter journal, in which you can reflect and record your innermost thoughts, memories, and advice as you would like to pass them on to your child.
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You can raise your words not the voice, well written
Thank you so very much.
Thanks for your articles i noticed you write mostly related to kid. I like that. Thank you I want to read more.
Thanks so much for commenting. I do write to and about my kids a lot. They sure provide me with lots of content! I do also write about marriage and self-improvement. I hope you gecko some more out! Thanks again for commenting! 🙂
I can relate! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for commenting! I am glad you found this relatable!
I love this so much. My daughter is only 1 1/2 and I can already tell that she is going to have quite a voice. That both excites me and frightens me. I am going to save this and come back to it as she grows. Beautiful!
Thanks so much for the comment, Chevelle! I hear what you are saying. My oldest is 6 and she is the one that already has her voice, but I, like you, have a 1 1/2 year old too and I can already tell she is going to be a super opinionated vocal little lady! They must take after their Mommas! 🙂 Thanks again for taking the time to comment!
This was me as a kid and I wish I’d had some better encouragement on how to use my voice, instead of being silenced! Will use this as inspiration for my girls!
Hi Caitlin! I so appreciate the comment and glad that you found the post inspirational! 🙂
Aww, this is so beautiful. I enjoyed every piece of this. I totally agree with you that many parents make that mistake of shutting down their children at times. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, Mary! I also thank you so much for your kind words about the post. I am very glad that you enjoyed it! 🙂
Growing up in a traditional Chinese culture, I was never allowed to ‘speak my mind’. I wish I were though. I wish I knew how important it is to speak up for what I believe since a young age. I’m all grown up now and I still struggle to speak up. I don’t have a kid yet and probably won’t have one until a long time but I will definitely remember this when I do.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Vedina. I also truly appreciate you opening up and sharing about your upbringing. I know what you mean about struggling to speak up, as I feel that way at times, too. I am so very glad that you enjoyed the post. Thanks again for commenting.
So well written! What a great post!
Thank you so very much, Antonia!
Such a great post! One that takes time to learn 😉
Thank you for the kind words and comment! I am still learning this! 🙂
What a great post. I always find myself questioning my daughter on her “smart” mouth, but I’ve never tried to stop her using it. This is a great post to write to your daughter. I’m inspired now to write notes to my daughter. Thank you 🙂
Thank you for the kind words, Stefanie! I am so glad that my post inspired you! I have written quite a few letters to my children, my husband and my dad. I think its a fun and unique way to share with them (and the world) how I feel. Thanks again for commenting!
Right on! I had a smart mouth for years and because of it I wanst walked over and can stand up for myself, set boundaries and create a healthy environment of people around me, because I dont have adults around me that dont want to grow up.
Thanks so much for commenting, Mihaela. It is very important that all people, kids and adults, have the confidence in their voice to stand up for themselves and set boundaries. Like you mentioned, this is key to creating a healthy environment. Only thing is we need to make sure our “standing up” for ourselves or our kids standing up for themselves is done in a respectful manner — when it is, it is a beautiful thing. Thanks again for commenting. 🙂
Hi, I’ve already told you how much I love this post, so I have shared it on Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You! So great to connect, Claire
Hi, Claire!! Thank you again so much for the shares of this! I am truly so happy you enjoyed it!! Thank you again! 🙂
This is so lovely and inspiring! I have a 6-year old daughter and she is all I can think of while reading this. She is pretty vocal too and I feel guilty of asking her to tone down when her views are actually valid. So glad I read this. This inspires me to encourage my girl (and son too) to speak, as long as they’re not sharing hateful remarks.
PS: Beautiful blog! New reader here. 😉
Hi, Rose! Thank you so very much for the kind words on the post and the blog as a whole! I am so grateful to have you as a new reader! My daughter is six and vocal, so ours would probably make good friends! Just like yours, mine can express such valid and logical opinions and I almost have to eat my own words because she is right and I am wrong. LOL. Just like you said, I will encourage her to speak up and talk, but I will NEVER allow her speech to be hateful. Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment!
Awesome post!! As a woman I see the importance for little girls to hear this, and also plan to teach my son the same points to be mindful of! I hate seeing kids quieted or told to go away because they are trying to talk with or contribute to the adult conversations!
Thanks so much for commenting, Rachel and for the kid words about the post!