As a parent, on a daily basis I worry that I am screwing up my children. That somehow and someway I am messing up in ways that will affect them forever. This sounds slightly paranoid, right? I know that I tend to be a generalizer, worrier, over-analyzer and on occasion, dramatic. But, my fear of botching this whole parenting thing is a true and real anxiety that I deal with almost daily.
I think that when our children make a mistake, we as parents (or at least me) tend to blame their mistake on something that we did or did not do. Somehow, it was ME that caused the negative behavior or tantrum etc. Or if my child does not perform as well on something, well, that has to be because I did not prepare them well enough.
What I am doing here to myself is not fair. I need to stop and if you are constantly worrying that you are screwing up your child, then you YOU need to stop too.
Every day we need to remind ourselves that parenting is HARD WORK. So is being a wife, an employee, a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc. YOU are not just one thing to one person. You are many things to many people and this is hard work. Give yourself a break. Stop worrying about everything that you are doing wrong and focus on what you are doing right. I need to do the same, right? I hear you.
I know I am doing well because I am raising children that are polite, respectful, honest, loving, happy, joyful, kind and so much more. Just because they have a bad day or make a mistake, doesn’t mean that I have ruined them and tainted the adults they will become. Mistakes are necessary for growth. I know how hard on myself I am when I make a mistake and its time that I chill; chill about my mistakes and about theirs.
You can’t be screwing up parenting, if you are worried about screwing up parenting. The mere fact that you care so much as to worry about in that way means that you are AMAZING and so am I. It is time for some positive self-talk and affirmations.
Who is going to remind themselves that they are amazing today? I am….