I Reject You. You Stink.

“I reject you.”

“You stink.”

“Stop trying.”

“Just give up.”

“IT’S NOT WORKING.”

This is the voice inside my head whenever I submit my writings for publication to popular media platforms and I don’t hear back right away, or I receive a “no” response.

I immediately feel like a failure.

But thankfully, that unrealistic view of myself lasts for about 5 seconds and I bounce back.

Let me share with you that surprisingly, most publications who have turned down my content have been utterly encouraging and constructive, and have actually told me to keep up my hard work.

Yet, every rejection or lack of immediate acceptance causes me to question my ability and my talent. Thankfully though, I never feed into these negative thoughts for too long. I am passionate about writing and I enjoy it so much that nothing (yet) has been able to deter me from it.

However, with the rejections I started to think about my children facing exclusion, and how important it is for us parents to model for our children how to properly handle and bounce back from a perceived failure.

Let’s start by ridding our household and our vocabulary of the word “failure”. It is such an ugly word and honestly, I feel like it has no place in our lives. So “sayonara” to that.

What we should focus on within our selves and when it comes to our children is allowing for mistakes — all of them. From the little ones like your child’s spilled milk or you forgetting to put their homework folder in their backpack, to the big ones like missing a work meeting or arguing with your spouse in front of your children.

When we open our minds to the idea of teaching lessons from each and every blunder or challenge or mistake, we are fostering an optimistic perspective toward our lives and the moments that make them up.

Mistakes are a given. They are going to happen all of the time and in all aspects of life; your marriage, your parenting, your work, within yourself. Let’s make it a priority to recognize that our children are better enabled to learn from their mistakes when we don’t berate them for making them. Let’s make it a priority to recognize that we, ourselves, are better enabled to learn from our mistakes when we aren’t denying them or sulking in them.

There is something to be said (and it’s not said enough) about people who are constantly trying. I am going to continue to focus on raising children who see that it’s okay to make mistakes, learn from them, and to keep aspiring and exuding effort. Mistakes foster growth, perfection is unattainable.

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