I am a bad mom.
Not all of the time, but I definitely have a lot of “bad mom” moments.
Although I do feel overworked, under-appreciated and pushed beyond my limits, at times, this does not mean that I desire to ditch my conventional responsibilities for a jolt of long overdue freedom, fun, and comedic self-indulgence, as did the ladies of “Bad Moms”.
When I say that I am a bad mom, you may feel sorry for me. You may be concerned that I am too hard on myself. Don’t worry about that and do not feel bad for me. I am more than just a bad mom; I am also a good mom. Yes, you can be both.
What makes me a bad mom, you ask? I yell–far too often. I make my children feel bad when I freak out over their small mistakes which have seemingly created more work for me. I rush them. I lack patience. I expect too much from them. I don’t always fully listen to them and I am, most of the time, distracted.
What make me a good mom, you ask? When I yell, I say sorry. When I freak out over my children’s small mistakes, I eventually say sorry. When I rush them, I say sorry. When my lack of patience gets the better of me, I apologize. I also take the time to explain to them why I expect so much from them and foreshadow for them all of the possibilities available to them in their future. I am also trying to be a better and more present listener.
As a person, each of us is unique and becoming a parent does not change that. Each of us has different challenges, skills and abilities and as a result, we are all raising unique children–which I think is pretty cool.
I may not be the mom that will have half-naked selfies or pictures of me partying and drinking all of my Facebook newsfeed. I’m not that bad. I may also not be the mom that is too busy actually spending quality time with her children to post a Facebook status update. I’m not that good either. The mom I am is the mom that loves to spend time with me kids, take pictures with and of them, and share those with the world. That doesn’t make me any better than you or you any better than me. We, mothers, are all unique. We are all different and we are all special. And, most of us are trying really damn hard to not screw up this parenting thing.
So…how about instead of putting so much effort into trying to not be a “bad mom,” and judging other moms around us, we just accept the fact that “bad moms” are really just good moms, who are having a bad day.