Honey…I need to talk to you. Is now an okay time?
What? I didn’t mean to offend you by calling you “honey” and no, my question wasn’t a jab at how you spend your free time.
You see darling, this is exactly what I need to talk to you about — your tendency to read into everything I say and do, and interpret it in your own misunderstood way.
No, I wasn’t meaning to be condescending by calling you “darling;” I actually meant it to be endearing.
Oh, it didn’t come off that way? Okay, I’m sorry.
No, I am not saying sorry to make you look like the bad guy, I am just truly sorry I offended you.
No, I didn’t say that you are easily offended. You are not hearing me right.
Okay….okay….let’s try to get back on track.
What I would like to talk to you about is the fact that I want to love you. I want to love you hard and I want to love you good. But sometimes my wife, well, you are just hard to love. Your tone, your judgmental glances, your voiced disapproval of me, your quick-to-react nature, and your need to always be in control, they all kind of make you…can I even say this…unlovable.
How dare I, right? I must be a horrible husband for calling you that, but baby, I am just being honest. Some days you just make loving you hard and when I am tired, I don’t always have the energy to do “hard”.
But guess what, babe? All of marriage is hard. All relationships are hard. And parenting, well, that is damn hard, too.
So, on the days that I don’t have the strength of mind or the physical strength to love you hard, I am going to love you “easy”.
I am going to go easy on you when it comes to your lesser than kind tone towards me.
I am going to go easy in how I make my feelings known to you about matters around the house.
I am going to ease you into some more romance and intimacy.
I am going to go easy when it comes to placing any judgment or blame on you regarding our “issues”.
I am also going to remember just how beautiful you are, because that’s so easy; all I have to do is look at you.
My wife, on those days when loving you is hard and you’re becoming unlovable, I am going to find loving you to be easy, because that is what you need from me and I am going to deliver.