Yea, that’s right. It’s Mommy the Rapper and I am a mother fudgin’ parent. Are you? If you are, then you must be speaking my language. You are not understanding me? What is that supposed to mean? Listen..alright…here it goes. I am going to give you a crash course in cursing like a mother fudgin’ parent, okay?
As parents, we know that cursing is something that just happens for us — we struggle to control it…we cannot control it…we really don’t want to control it. But, we have to control it. Why? For the children. Yep. I wrote a whole different article about this and about using “ugly words” in front of our children. They should not be used and I won’t use them.
But…do you know what I will use? These mother fudgin’ curse words that I am about to share with you. When all your self-control fails and you have to just let “those” words come out..modify them slightly, then let them spew.
Speaking of spew…here it comes…the third single to drop…enjoy…
It’s Mommy the Rapper and I am back to play,
and by play I mean, I’ll tell you what I gotta say;
To my kids and in my home, each and every day,
kid-appropriate curse words is how I slay;
Oops you spilled your food, no big deal,
I say FUDGE and then I make you a brand new meal;
Now the baby is crying cause her SHIP got her wet,
And Daddy won’t change it cause he never liked a diaper that he met;
So Mom does another change, yea she does them all,
Isn’t parenthood a MOTHER FUDGIN’ ball.
Then, FLAARRGGGHHH I say because I just heard a crash,
OMG, what now did my son go and smash?
Oh, good, nothing broke and no one has a bruise,
Ain’t it about time I go on a DANG cruise;
HOLY CARP that isn’t happening any time soon,
And when will the hubby and I find time to spoon?
Probably in a year or maybe two or three,
But only if that JACKALOPE continues helping me;
Parenthood is hard and a real MOTHER TRUCKER,
but humor gets you farther than any other FLUCKER;
So keep on cursin’ when your feeling all that stress
But, FREAKIN FUDGESICLES leave out the mess;
The mess of bad words, keep them for your own
Take and use mine — there I threw you a bone.
Like my rap? Well, it incorporated my own everyday swear words along with some provided by Science of Parenthood, so thanks to them for that!
Have you missed my other singles that dropped? Where you been living, under a rock? Check them out!