The title alone of Lyss Stern’s hugely popular book, Motherhood is a Beach B#tch: 10 Steps to Regaining Your Sanity, Sexiness, and Inner Diva, is more than enough reason to pick it up on Amazon or grab it from your local bookstore.
In fact, I would contend that it is more than acceptable to take her book cover, blow it up, frame it, and hang it next to your bed to remind your exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated self that there is a community of women out there feeling just like you, and that it is possible to regain everything about your former fabulous self.
Listen, I’ve talked about how I am the mother who lost her empathy, but I have also talked about how I have gotten my groove back. Now, her book jacket on its own has me itching and excited to get even more of my “mojo” back, and to stop looking in the mirror to see a pissed-off, washed-out woman staring back at me. More than ever, it is the perfect time to start seeing a woman who has reclaimed everything positive about her past self.
I have absolutely lost myself in being a wife and mother, and although I am slightly complaining, I know that I asked for this life; I’ve always wanted it and still do. Yet, I also want to feel and actually be happier, healthier (of mind and body), and hotter than ever — for my now and for my future; for my spouse and for myself.
When you are tired, frustrated, depleted, and overwhelmed it is hard to handle life’s daily milk spills and spontaneous vomits with style and grace. But, with Lyss Stern’s help and her book to act as a guide, you sure have a better chance at accomplishing such.
To give you a little peek of what you can expect from her book, I took some time to chat with Lyss and asked her to elaborate a bit on some of what I enjoyed most from her book.
Now, let’s get into the good stuff — her completely straightforward answers to a few of my raw, slightly embarrassing, yet hilariously honest mom questions:
Q. You totally kind of reversed the definition of a “b#tch” in your book. What I mean by that is that most women think of a “b#tch” as someone who is mean, hard, and full of attitude. Instead, you encourage your readers to be b#thcy in the sense that you want them to “become a woman who kicks ass and takes no prisoners;” a woman who “needs to fight back against anyone who has ever sugarcoated what mothers go through on a daily basis”. I LOVE THIS. I REPEAT, I LOVE THIS. But, I have to ask — how can I really kick ass when I don’t feel good about myself and am exhausted half the time?
A. All moms need to take time to themselves, mommy time outs #MTO as I call them. The magical wonders of a shower with the door closed, or a 20-minute nap when the baby is napping. Setup play dates for your kid to go to someone else’s house for a change. Taking care of yourself will make you feel better. If you never had a hobby, take a class to restart your new self.
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Q. I LOVE that you spelled out for me what being a “b#tch” really entails:
B: Being the woman I want.
I: Initiating the change.
T: Taking time-outs for self-care when I need them.
C: Caring about myself and making myself a priority.
H: Help — asking for it and demanding it when necessary.
You have laid out the steps for me perfectly, but how can I be the woman I want, when I don’t know who it is that I want to be. How do women who have “lost” themselves decide if their old self and old ways will make them happy in their current lives?
A. Your new self doesn’t have to be that party girl at 20 something. You’ve changed and are a mom now but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun. Try starting a book club (excuse to read and gather with friends over wine), no time to read? Make it a movie club! Find things that could make you happy and take a chance! Surround yourself with like-minded moms and have fun with it.
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Q. You contend that “a happy family runs like a world-class company” and I am intrigued by this. It is not lost on me that when I think of super successful women who run their own companies, I picture them as a bit stern (no pun intended, but maybe it should be) and bitchy. What “b#tchy” notable CEO or CFO do you look up to? Which of their qualities aids in their ability to be successful?
A. There are many b#tchy CEOS and CFOS that I look up to. Beyoncé is one that I admire for many reasons. There is no stopping this amazing, beautiful, smart and talented mother. Every time she sets a bar, she shows us her next accomplishment. She is fierce, fabULyss and does not take NO for an answer. I also hear that she’s a wonderful mother and that her children come first! To me the best CEO’s are the moms that know that their family means everything to them.
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Q. My husband rolls his eyes each and every time I say I don’t have time to exercise — probably because he thinks it’s hilarious that I complain about my weight/health, but do nothing to improve it. I would venture to guess many women can relate. Thankfully, your book offers up suggestions and tips for “our bringing sexy back” with or without a gym routine. In your opinion, what is an absolute, no-fail, go-to, sexy look for the everyday momma?
A. Finding time to exercise is always a challenge, but it’s also hard in general. If working out was easy it wouldn’t be called WORK. I choose to work out, the endorphins after a great workout set me up for the whole day! I eat healthier and feel better both mentally and physically (also stronger). Heels always lift me up, and make me feel instantly sexier. Not practical? Then a simple sleek look. There are simple hair styles in the book that take seconds to look fab and add a pinch of red lipstick *always does the trick*
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Q. My “inner bitch” can get away from me sometimes. What is the key to remaining a cool, calm b#tch?
A. I love to read magazines to calm me down, or catch up on some trashy TV! My best friend and myself think that some of the Instagram videos that people make today are better than any reality TV show:)!
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Q. How necessary is a b#tch tribe?
A. Finding like-minded moms is necessary. You need to know you’re not alone and these b#tches got your back through thick and thin!
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Q. Is it likely my husband will appreciate my newly-found (or rediscovered) b#tchiness, or will he want me to tone it down? If he wants me to bring it down a notch, how do I find this balance?
A. You will look sexy and feel better, what’s not to like?
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Q. I can imagine that stress at times can be wearing on my b#tchiness. Any tips for maintaining it?
A. Breathing works wonders for stress. You don’t need to do everything all of the time. Ask for help, no wait — demand it!
I hope you enjoyed this review and my chat with Lyss! Now go grab a copy of her book, harness your inner b#tch, and get on with dominating your life!
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Lyss Stern is the CEO/Founder of Divalysscious Moms, a national, NYC-based marketing and event company with a database of millions of mothers and mompreneurs. In addition to being a successful entrepreneur, Lyss is the go-to source for top-tier media, where she discusses topics ranging from business to parenting to politics. Lyss, through the strategic building of her brand, media presence, speaking engagements and business acumen, is in the coveted position as being a social media influencer, with followers who avidly trust and follow her on various social media platforms.
In addition to her work with DivaMoms, Lyss was the editor in chief of Jared Kushner’s “Observer Playground” magazine and co-authored the best-selling book, “If You Give a Mom a Martini” (Crown) offering her expertise on Mommy Me-time to women everywhere. The book, which has recently been optioned to become a motion picture, features contributions from celebrity moms like Kelly Ripa, Christie Brinkley, Melissa Joan Hart and more. The Long Island-native, and mommy-of-three (sons Jackson, Oliver and sister Blake), is also the co-creator of the NickMom short-form series “Story Time For Moms” as well as the co-creator of the Scripps Networks short-form series “Bad Moms In History”. Her second book “Motherhood Is A B#TCH, 10 Steps to Regaining Your Sanity, Sexiness, and Inner Diva” (Skyhorse Publishing) by Lyss Stern and Sheryl Berk (foreword by Jill Kargman, star of “Odd Mom Out”) came out in the spring of 2017.
Lyss can often be seen offering her parenting expertise to television audiences for networks like Fox News and on programs including NBC’s Today Show and CBS This Morning. Her commentary has also been featured in national publications such as Crain’s New York Business, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and The New York Post. Lyss writes a few columns including the SummerLYSST, which appears in Social Life Magazine and FabULyssFinds in Manhattan Family Magazine.
Lyss also prioritizes giving back to the community, which she focuses on through her involvement with a variety of organizations including OCRF and Pediatric Cancer.
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