No Cuts. No Color. Just Blowouts.

A new baby fills a place in your heart (and a gazillion diapers).

“No Cuts. No Color. Just Blowouts.”

These were the words on the window of a local blow-bar (get your head out of your you-know-where folks). Blow-bars are the new thing apparently for lady’s who enjoy getting their hair professionally styled without the fuss of a cut and color.

But, do you know what I thought when I saw this sign? I sure as heck wasn’t thinking that I need to make an appointment. Nope, what I thought was that it perfectly describes new parenthood. Don’t see the correlation? Here, I’ll break it down for you:

No Cuts.

Nope. Sadly and unfortunately, we are unable to cut any players from our family team. It’s frowned upon across this type of franchise. As a parent, and especially as a newbie mother, there are going to be times when you want to “cut” your child, your spouse, or even yourself from the team. Because this is considered completely inappropriate by the general public and would probably get you in trouble with the DFS, you will have to adapt to the challenges you are facing and find a way to continue with all involved.

No Color.

Yeah, I could see how you might think that parenthood would be all rainbows and butterflies, but YOU – ARE – WRONG. Parenthood is not as pleasantly colorful and joyful as the movies, TV, or even books make it seem. There is a lot of black and white and right and wrong in parenthood, and by golly you better not screw up or you will hear about it — from your family, your friends, and the general public. Now don’t get me wrong, occasionally you will see glimpses of color, but this will come via your child’s (or let’s be real here, maybe your own) colorful language and less-than-becoming, colorful behavior.

Blowouts.

Yes! There will be hundreds of these starting from when your child is a newborn until they are 2 or 3 years of age. Get freakin’ used to it. You will get pooped on. You will get poop on your clothes. You will smell like poop. You will clean poop out of your child’s car seat. Your child will poop and you will have forgotten diapers. Poop, poop, poop; it is all you will know for a couple of years, so get used to it. And honestly, you should probably also get used to the fact that you may only get a “hair blowout” about once a year when you are able to get out of the house for date night.

Well, wow — I really do make parenting sound fun! Good luck. You are going to be a great parent and enjoy it so much!

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