Raising kids without raising your voice…is this even possible?
Want my honest answer? Hell no. I really do not think it is possible. Well, unless maybe you’re a Saint, and I assume most of us aren’t on the track to sainthood.
That doesn’t mean that we’re bad people and it sure as heck doesn’t point to us being bad parents. It simply means that we are your average, normal human beings who typically get worked up by life’s stressors (and by that, I mean bossy little people).
I’ve shared this before — I’m a yeller. Always have been. I sure am working on yelling less because I know that yelling does not work, but it is hard as heck to stop.
I have been doing better and I feel as though I do yell far less than I used to, but I also believe that it is okay that I yell sometimes and in fact, I am going to contend that it can in some ways be good for my children.
Now don’t go run to social media to bash me and state that I’m telling parents to yell at their kids. I am merely noting that I fall into the camp of people who accept that parents are less than perfect and that no matter how hard we try, we ARE going to yell at our children on occasion.
So, why is it okay to yell at your kids?
- It shows them that you are human and that you make mistakes.
- It teaches them that perfection is not realistic.
- They will inevitably be yelled at by someone (a boss, a friend, a stranger) in their life, and they will feel prepared for it.
- It helps them learn how to be a better parent than you. Funny, but not funny, right? It’s just the truth. Our parents learned from their parents, we learned from ours, our kids will learn from us, and hopefully mistakes have been and will continue to be corrected along the way.
- It teaches them about forgiveness and apologies, because I know all of you well-meaning parents out there like myself always apologize post-yelling incident, right? You should be.
All kidding aside, I know that my children learn and benefit from calm, non-yelling mommy; but I also trust that they are learning and benefiting from yelling Mommy too on those (hopefully) rare occasions that she decides to make an appearance.