Recently, I went to the local bowling alley with all three of my children.
Nothing new for us. We go places all of the time just the three of us, because, well, we have to. My kids and I like to go out and they can’t drive or be left alone, so our options are slim.
On that day, a well-meaning employee at the bowling alley commented to me that I was “brave” for taking three children out.
I responded by telling him, “we go everywhere together — they are my kids”.
After his shock (which I’m not sure why it presented itself) left his face, he followed up with a comment “wow, they are all yours?!”
I’m not sure what is so shocking about a woman in her thirties having three children, or her taking them to a bowling alley or anywhere for that matter. But, this by far is not the first or only time strangers have shared with me that they find it impressive and courageous to be out and about with my three young children.
While I do know that the majority have meant no harm by their words and in fact, they probably find their words to be more of a compliment, I’m still requesting that such comments flat out not be made.
Why? Because, in my opinion, the truth is this:
It is a brave decision to have children, but it is also a very brave decision to not have children; to live life for yourself, for your relationship, or to pursue your passion. It is a brave decision to give birth to three or more children, but it is also very brave to give birth to one or two children. It’s a brave decision to foster or adopt.
What’s not brave is going to any establishment with my three children; there is nothing brave about that. Everything about that is normal, average, and common for myself and my family. Everything about that is everything that motherhood is.
So, I guess if you are saying that motherhood in general is brave, then yes, sir, I agree with you.
However, simply venturing out of my messy home with my three children; not too commendable.
Wait…they did all have pants on and matching socks, and only one of them threw themselves on the floor for back-to-back mini, slightly-epic tantrums.
On second thought, commend away.
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I have four children, and I do feel that in order to leave the house sometimes it is amazing just to get out of the house with them all having socks on, and their teeth brushed.
Right?! I mean it is inevitable that on any given day at least one of my children will be wearing two different socks, if they even put socks on. Smelly feet, I know… I pick my battles. 🙂
Ohmagosh, thank you for this! I take my twins out by myself all the time and people make this comment to me almost every single time I go somewhere. I hear this several times a day if I go to more than one place! I usually reply with, “Thanks, my mom’s got to do what a mom’s got to do and if we didn’t go out I would never leave the house” but I like your response much better LOL
Hi, Laura! I am so glad that you enjoyed this piece and found it relatable! My sister has 1 year old twins, as well and a 3 year old! You are so on point that us mommas are simply doing what we have to do! Staying in the house all day, every day is a total recipe for sanity loss. LOL. 🙂
This is perfect! I have 2 sets of twins 4,4, 2 mo, 2 mo. I hate the comments I get in public about being brave or being super Mom. I’m just like any other Mom I just happen to be blessed with 4 kids. The groceries still have to be bought, errands still need to be run, and fun still needs to be had. My kids get to learn and grow on our adventures just like I do.
So glad you found this relatable, Bren! I love how you put it that your outings are adventures during which you both grow! Awesome perspective! 🙂