imperfectly authentic
This is a prayer request. A prayer request for any husband who tonight, upon his return from work, asks his SAHM wife what she did all day. This is a prayer request. A prayer request for any wife who tonight, upon her husband’s return from work, forget to hide the eight Amazon packages that were…
And on the seventh day, God made Target. Wait. That’s not right. I should have paid more attention in religion class. Oops. Good thing God knows that I love Him and I surely know that He loves me (and my humor). Since my version is all I can recite, we will go with that; just…
Oh, hey honey, today is your day, did you remember that? I am sure you did because it is something that has to do with you. Never mind when it was my day last month, and you and the children assumed that “Mother’s Day” was a day to call on me for every single thing…
When you are a parent, there is one thing you should never leave home without. Your flask. Just kidding. I shouldn’t be one who perpetuates the drinking culture and the wine obsession amongst parents and specifically mothers; so, I renege my initial comment and half-apologize to those I have offended. Oh, crap, I probably insulted…
Do you want to know why your kid requests that you watch them poop? SO DO I! So, can somebody tell me? Please? Just today, my presence must have been requested at least seven shiitake sessions. Seriously, if I have to smell any more dead roses or wipe any more peanut butter (uh huh) off…
I’m proud of my forehead wrinkles. Okay, that was a major lie. “Bad Mommy, Bad Mommy;” we don’t lie in our family. Oops. Okay, the truth is… I. HATE. THEM. But, I don’t hate the reason for them, and guess what? The reason for them matters WAY more than how they make me look. Now,…
Mommy the Rapper ain’t feeling so hot, But she’s got a sick flow, so she’ll give it a shot. Speaking of shots, have you heard about the flu? Apparently, it’s running through you, you, and you. I went today and had the flu test, Sticks up the nostril for sure ain’t the best. This momma…
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