imperfectly authentic
Oh, hey honey, today is your day, did you remember that? I am sure you did because it is something that has to do with you. Never mind when it was my day last month, and you and the children assumed that “Mother’s Day” was a day to call on me for every single thing…
When you are a parent, there is one thing you should never leave home without. Your flask. Just kidding. I shouldn’t be one who perpetuates the drinking culture and the wine obsession amongst parents and specifically mothers; so, I renege my initial comment and half-apologize to those I have offended. Oh, crap, I probably insulted…
Do you want to know why your kid requests that you watch them poop? SO DO I! So, can somebody tell me? Please? Just today, my presence must have been requested at least seven shiitake sessions. Seriously, if I have to smell any more dead roses or wipe any more peanut butter (uh huh) off…
We all long to be likable; it’s freakin’ human nature. Even those that claim not to give a hoot as to whether they are liked, they want you to like the fact that they are supposedly not caring whether or not you like them. Are you confused? Good, then they have succeeded. They want to…
The house is a mess; dog hair, crumbs, toys, shoes — they all line the floor. The washer and dryer are both full and have been for days — the clothes are wrinkled, wet, and starting to smell. The counters are cluttered with snack food, papers, crafts, and unopened mail. The computer is not charged,…
I went platinum blonde recently and my husband, well, he doesn’t care too much for the new casper-esque look. What do I say to him? Let it the “f” go! Not because I want him to (because Lord knows how much he doesn’t want to do anything I instruct him to do), but because Elsa…
As I sit here in my bed at 9:30pm eating my late-night snack and taking baby sips of the cocktail I have been nursing for over an hour, I look over at you. There you are, laying with your head on my pillow, covered in my blanket, on my side of the bed and I…
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