Hard decisions. By definition, they are tough. In my opinion, they suck. I hate making hard decisions, I hate making any kind of decisions. I am, by nature, an anxious person…so, hard decisions and decisions in general, drive me crazy. Luckily, I typically thrive under high pressure situations. Prior to my thriving though, I will internally worry and overanalyze. However, in the end, I usually come out okay.
Of course I have had to make many hard decisions in my life–the decision to get married, have a baby, to leave law school, to quit my job in foster care after the birth of my first child, etc. The list goes on. But for me, making decisions never has been, and never will be, easy or exciting. Alternatively, decision-making stresses the heck out of me.
The thing is that, as a parent, I need to exemplify confidence in my decision-making; whether the decision is easy or not. Definitely even more so when it is a hard decision. I need to confidently make hard decisions and then handle the aftermath of those decisions well. I need to find a way to tame my internal fury that happens during decision-making time because my children can sense and pick up on that. If I handle hard decisions, and decisions, in general, better, than I will be able to teach my children the following:
— That hard decisions make us stronger people.
— That hard decisions require us to reevaluate ourselves and our plan of action.
— That making hard decisions is proof that you possess self-love.
— That the right decision, though it may be hard, will likely not be popular.
— That your values dictate your decision-making. Having trouble making a decision? Then you should work on defining and understanding your own personal values.
— To trust your conscience/gut/intuition if you are wavering on a hard decision.
— That decisions can be made when you are emotional, but only if your heart and mind are in agreement.
— That every hard decision is comprised of: good, bad and a lesson.
So what if you come face to face with a hard decision and you make the wrong one? This is inevitable and will happen at some point. The thing to remember is that you were brave enough to make a decision.
Sometimes it is our making of wrong decisions, that teaches us the power of a decision. It educates us that we need to devote more thought to our decisions. Regardless of if they are right or if they are wrong, decisions TEACH US; bad ones, we learn from, and good ones gain us more confidence and trust in ourselves.
My goal for the rest of 2017 is to steer clear of the terror of indecision. I vow to stop worrying and overanalyzing and rather to confidently make decisions and accept all that results because of it…because that is what I want for my children.
“There is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long, “I feel that this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.” No teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide, What’s right for you–just listen to the voice that speaks inside” — Shel Silverstein