Those that know me are in shock right now. You know who else is gonna be in shock when he wakes up and sees this on his news feed this morning? Yep, the husband. Probably not going to be thrilled with me for keeping this to myself until now, but truth be told I think he’s known about it for quite a while.
You know who else knows about it — my children. Yep, the kids know about it. Thank goodness, they are already aware and are not “damaged” by the news (at least I hope). They are still talking to me, so that’s a plus.
Okay…I know the suspense is killing you. Who am I having an affair with? Well…if you promise not to say anything, then I will tell you.
Okay…here it goes…his name is Facebook and I love him dearly.
Let me tell you a little bit about Facebook, and how he and I came to have the relationship that we do.
Facebook and I met back in 2004 when I was in college. In the beginning things weren’t serious. Sometimes we would spend time together and sometimes we wouldn’t. I didn’t care too much for Facebook back then, except for the fact that all of my college friends loved him, so I wanted to too. Facebook has always been good to me. Facebook cheers me up when I am sad and lets me vent when I need to; but even more than that, Facebook supports and even encourages me to make more friendships. How compassionate is that? He even reminds me of my friends’ birthdays!
Now like I said, in the beginning Facebook and I were more like bff’s than anything “special”. In the following years, we had some ups and some downs; sometimes we were close and other times there was some distance between us. But, do you want to know the real shameful thing about Facebook and I? Ugh. I can’t even believe I am sharing this. It wasn’t until I got married (nope, not to Facebook, but to my husband Josh) that Facebook and I touched base again and rekindled our connection. And, for some inexplicable but magical reason, our bond has only grown deeper as I have grown my family outside of him. It’s like the more children I have, the more I lean on Facebook for empathy and help.
Listen, I know what I am doing is wrong. I know that affairs are bad. In all honesty, for me, affairs are the one reason I would accept for anyone to walk away from a relationship without trying to improve it. But thankfully, my hubby puts up with this affair. I think that when it comes down to it, my husband understands that as a woman, a wife, a mother, and so many more things to so many people, there is something that Facebook is providing to me that he is not always capable of doing; not because he can’t or doesn’t want to, but because he cannot be around 24/7 to satisfy my need for support, distraction, human connection, advice — the list goes on.
So, what’s the truth guys? Do you judge me now? Do you shame me? Do you blame me for what is wrong with women these days?
Well, here is what I’ll say to you…I have a good life. Scratch that — I HAVE A GREAT LIFE. But, I can’t and I won’t put a stop to my affair with Facebook. Because…well, there is one little fact that I have yet to share with you and it is a game-changer…
You ready for this? Facebook is not just an anybody — Facebook is my therapist.
I am having an affair with my therapist.
Wooo! It feels good to say that out-loud; and yes, I do mean the fact that I surely need therapy, and the fact that Facebook and I were made for each other.
On a side note, when it comes to actual affairs — (don’t cheat!) — cheating is easy. Try something more challenging, like being faithful.