Young love. It is exciting. It is energizing. It is inspiring. It is, for lack of a better term, hot and heavy.
Married love. Well…thats a horse of a different color. But, do you know that married love can still be exciting, energizing and inspiring. And yes, it can still be hot and heavy as well. Okay, maybe more like lukewarm and light…but, you get what I’m saying. The “magic” and the “fire” don’t have to fade–but it will take work.
It does not happen for every couple. But, the lucky few that are successfully able to translate their young love into married love have attained something so rare, so beautiful, so courageous.
Courageous? You may be wondering why I chose that word. Courage is normally a word some would associate with going into battle. Well, we all know that “love is a battlefield,” right? It is true, though. In marriage, we are constantly fighting–not always literally and not always with our partner, but fighting nonetheless.
We have to fight to keep some semblance of our independence, but at the same time, fight to stay connected to our partner. We have to fight to maintain intimacy, at the same time we are fighting distractions . We have to fight to make sure we are heard, but at the same time fight our own pride, so that we can be understanding of our partner. We have to fight our desire to have our partner think alike and fight for the strength to think as a team.
Marriage is hard. Marriage forces us to constantly work on ourself, while still aligning our life with anothers’. Marriage needs you to consistently and intentionally choose to value your partner’s happiness as much as your own; to give your partner your attention when ten other people are asking for it.
The real marriage challenge is to stop fighting against one another and to continue to fight for each other and for the life you have so courageously created together–kids or no kids.
And, if you were not a “fighter-type” person prior to marriage, you will become one. You will be forced to learn strategies to maintain your own peace, as well as the internal peace of your family; be it just you and your husband or the kiddies as well. Your growth, as a fighter for the life that you and your partner have created, will allow for you to learn the necessary strategies to keep your love as strong as it was in the beginning.
So…go fight with your hubby, but for the aforementioned reasons–fight with him for your love, for your life and for your happiness. You and your relationship will both become stronger because of it.