I’ve never been a girl’s girl. I’ve always played sports with the boys and been friends with the boys. Some people don’t trust a woman who is not a girl’s girl, but you know who I’ve never trusted…the girl’s girls. I’ve always been somewhat of a self-conscious person, so that may have played a role.
Yet…the thing is, the older I have gotten and the further along I get in this journey of motherhood, the more I realize that having a few good “mom friends” is super important. It is important for me, for my kids and for my relationship with my husband.
Let me break it down for you. Parenting is so freakin’ HARD. You have this view of what it will be like, and in someways it meets those expectations. However, in many other ways, it turns out to be so much more physically and emotionally draining and more challenging than you could have ever imagined. Although in most cases you have your spouse to vent and confide in, the two of you constantly discussing only stressful stuff related to the kids can be a relationship killer. Hence, the need for you to have mom friends.
I use the term mom friends loosely here. The people I am referring to are those people, young or old, moms, nannies, grandparents, caretakers, teachers–anyone that you connect with that understands the triumphs and challenges of constantly being around loud, demanding, but utterly charming people that are half your size.
The fabulous thing about my mom friends and I is that there are no conditions to our friendship. We are just women who are going through the same or similar experiences and feel better when we share our experiences with each other; either to be empathetic to other another or to merely engage in adult interaction for our own self-satisfying need. Hearing “What?! You too?!” and realizing that you are no alone, is where most mom friendships are born.
Motherhood can be exciting, fun and exhilarating, but it can also be lonely, boring, monotonous and super tough. You will have mom friends that will come into your life and stay a while, while others will come and go. No matter the length of the friendship, I have found that each one of my mom friends has helped me in someway; be it by helping me through a challenging day, inspiring me in someway, helping me to understand a new perspective or even helping me to build confidence in myself as a woman and in my ability to parent well.
Yes, sometimes I am still jealous of those girls from high-school and college that are still as close as they once were with their girlfriends from when they were younger. The pictures on their status updates of all of them still enjoying one another does make me wonder if I did it all wrong. But, what I have come to think, believe and ultimately trust is that it is not important how many friends I have, or how long I have been friends with them, but rather the quality of my friendships. I have friends now that are there for me when I need them and they prove this to me almost daily. There is nothing more that I can ask for.
“Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it’s true warmth.” — Unknown
To my mom friends–thanks for being the pee in my pants.
Or, rather maybe I should thank my children for my lack of bladder control. Regardless…