Don’t judge me based on the fact that the idea for this blog post came from Mal and Evie’s singalong in the movie The Descendants. My children tied me to a chair and forced me to watch it about eighteen million times.
I also request that you don’t judge the fact that I don’t always love parenting. Oh, you’re not surprised…ok. I guess I don’t hide my frustration all too well.
And, if you dare say that you know someone who does always love being a mom or a dad, then I say bulls#t because no one, absolutely no one enjoys being pooped on, vomited on, yelled at, not listened to, talked back to, touched and needed ALL. OF. THE. TIME. No one.
But, here’s what I do love. The space between these less enjoyable moments.
What did you say? What space?
Yes, I absolutely agree that when you’re a parent, your space decreases ten-fold by the number of children you have, and conversely the challenges increase as does the effect you feel from them.
BUT, more often than not, there is some space between all of the crappy stuff, and if I could live in that space, I would pitch a tent and camp out there for the rest of my life.
As it turns out, it is in that space between and through what we find, see, and do in those moments which make it up that invigorates us and enables us to keep going day after day, including considering and tending to others’ needs outside of ourselves.
The space between the vomit and the poop; between the yelling and the crying; between the challenge and the achievement; and between frustration and laughter.
It’s the space between who your children are and the people they are becoming.
It’s the space between your spouse and yourself that seems to grow at the same rate as your children, but that lends you both to self and mutual improvement.
It’s the space between the woman you once were, the one you thought you would be, the one you are now, and the one you want to become.
It’s the space between that you love so dearly. It’s the space between that you would miss if it wasn’t there.
It’s the space between that motivates you to push through all that’s hard and that sucks about parenting.
Find that space between; honor it and be thankful for it.
And remember when you’re smack dab in the middle of CRAP, be at ease because you know that the space between is coming up next.