Quick SideNote: I wrote this article after seeing an image inside of a Facebook Group that I was a part of. I was so disgusted by people’s comments that I immediately quit the virtual group. It wasn’t until last week that I found out a bit more about the story behind the picture, and that the picture itself had gone viral. Here is a recent article about the woman in the photo as found on ‘The Today Show’ website and Facebook page. Out of respect for this woman and her child, I have not included the image inside of my article, but it can be viewed at the link above.
Now, here is the letter that I wrote to that woman not knowing anything more about her or the backstory, aside from only the image and the negative comments around it.
_____________
To the mom who put her baby on the floor at the airport,
I’ve got your back, because apparently most of the rest of the world wants to stick a virtual knife in it. Yep, I was privy to a photo taken of you without your permission. That’s gross, right? And completely obtrusive. Yet, also so commonplace and standard in the world we live in today. As for who it was that took your picture, I don’t know. I was just one of the many members of the general public who was faced with your photo on my newsfeed as I scrolled through Facebook this afternoon.
When your photo breezed by as I swiped, I thought “Awe, that sweet baby is sleeping”. It looked like you had gently placed your young child on the floor, lying on their back atop a soft baby blanket, right next to your chair and feet. To me, it looked like you were doing everything right.
But then I became disgusted. Not at you, but by the horrendous comments to the picture taken of you and your baby without your knowledge. The comments truly made me sad and broke my heart. What’s worse, if the general public’s lack of compassion and rush to judgement made me feel so uncomfortable and disappointed in us as a society, I can only imagine how it made you feel.
What was it that these people were seeing that I wasn’t? They commented that you should have had your baby in your lap. They commented that putting your child on the floor was careless, because someone could step on them. They commented about how you were such a bad mom, because you were looking at your phone and not gawking at and swooning over your baby.
But, hun, you know what? Thankfully, the rest of the general public doesn’t think like these nitwits. Intelligent and respectable people in the real world don’t make rash judgments without an actual and factual basis to create them on.
What was really happening in the picture that I saw was likely an exhausted, yet extremely loving mother. One whose young baby was tired and needed a comfortable nap, on his or her back, in accordance with AAP guidelines. You knew that both you and your baby would likely be uncomfortable and disrupted with her in your lap, and the angle and curvature of the airport seat next to you made it an unideal spot for such a young child. Your baby was no closer to other people’s walking feet than your feet were, as she was right next to you.
Although I can, on a minuscule level, understand one’s concern for the germs your child may encounter; those were inevitable as you were in an airport for goodness sake. Oh yea, and your use of your phone (which very well may have been to check in with your spouse, your child’s grandparent, your work, or even to check your social media) was completely appropriate, and the same damn thing that any one of us parents do when we have a moment of silence.
Listen, some people are just jerks, and as much as I hate to hold that contention, it’s true. So please, disregard anyone that wants to give you a piece of their mind when they don’t have any actual brains. It is just not worth your time or your energy, and you should be saving both of those for your sweet little baby.
From,
A mom who has got your back.
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I find it amazing that you took the time to write to this unknown woman. Well done! It’s true that there are so many circumstances that could have led to such an action, but I am particularly impressed that you actually wrote to her. I wonder if that was the only positive note she received? Thank you for your empathy.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Shirley. I would hope and believe that although she received WAY TOO MUCH unfounded judgement, that she also has received empathy and support from many others.
I didn’t see this photo, and can’t understand why she was being judged. She was watching the baby? The baby wasn’t in danger? Then what’s the problem?! Great letter to her. I enjoy reading real, down to earth writing, and your post fit that bill.
Hi, Christine. The baby was in no danger, so there was no problem — you are correct. Thanks for the kind words about my writing.
Great job being the one to say something positive to a stranger. It always means so much. We live in an extremely judgemental society, and it’s wrong. It’s nice to hear a refreshing opinion for once!
Thanks so much for the kind words, Allie. I am happy that you enjoyed this post and found it refreshing. 🙂
What beautiful and compassionate words. Thank you for standing against mom shaming. We have got to stop doing this to each other.
Totally agreed. Thanks for your kind words about the article and for taking the time to comment. Much appreciated. 🙂
Sometimes People should simply give a mom a break. its mentally tasking enough without people thinking they should tell you how to go about it. Perhaps the woman was going through a tough time Who knows she may be just so tired that she didnt think keeping the baby there was a big deal.
I think you are right about us mothers needing to give other mothers and other parents a break. Let’s focus on building each other up! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
Good for you writing this, I feel lucky this didn’t happen to me but it’s shocking. It’s nice to see another mom stand up for a fellow mother.
Thanks so much, Melissa. I am so glad that you enjoyed this article. 🙂
I have a zillion things I could say about this but ranting isn’t necessary. I love this post- and it’s message! We’re SO QUICK to tear done other moms and it’s ridiculous as half the time we don’t know the circumstances. We need to work harder at building each other up instead.
Shelby, I so agree with everything you have said here. It’s sad how quick we are to judge or point out flaws. The focus 100% needs to be on self-improvement and on finding the good/positive in others and being supportive and encouraging. Thanks again for commenting! 🙂
Great job! So inspiring, us moms gotta stick together
Thanks so very much, Shanis! I am glad that you enjoyed the piece and the message! 🙂
I really enjoy your writing!
Mindy! Thank you so much for saying that! Makes my heart happy! 🙂
THANK YOU for writing this!!!!
Thank you for reading it. 🙂
Wow! Very encouraging words. Thank you for saying something positive about her. We really don’t know what kind of day people have had. Yet we are so quick to judge. Way to show God’s love 😊
Thanks for the kind words, Mary and I am glad that you appreciated the article!
Such a compassionate and thoughtful letter! I wish more people are like you. Sometimes I feel this society sucks. I mean we are quick to judge but ignorant to help others. While it should be the other way around. Than you for setting an example 🙂
XO
Thanks, Anjali, for your kind words and for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
YESSSS!! LOOOOVE THIS!! Well said girl!!
Thanks, Alfa!
Thank you!! I also saw the picture and was really confused that anyone had a problem with it. Some people are way too rash and jump to totally silly conclusions. It’s tough being a mom these days. You can’t please everyone.
You sure are right, Dawn — no way to please everyone and no need to anyway. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment.
I love this post so much. Judgment needs to stop in this world. It tears people apart. Great article, kudos to you for writing it. I agree with you 100%
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment, Jodi. I am so very glad that you enjoyed this post. Thanks for your kind words.
This virtual shaming needs to stop especially towards mom. Thank you for taking the time to write this post. Glad to know that moms like you support other moms.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Karen and for taking a stance on this. We all need to support one another. 🙂
So sweet of you to write such an amazing letter to an unknown person. And it’s great that you have such understanding for other’s troubles. Good luck!
Thanks very much, Nikhila. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! 🙂
Good on you!! Great article!!
Thanks so much Chantal!
I think we need more people like you nowadays. Because judgeing is easy, but understanding could be also, if we only opened our hearts.
You are kind, Jovana. Thanks for your words and for taking the time to comment. 🙂
Yesssssss!!! So much yes to this. I was horrified for this poor Mom when I first saw the photo and read the comments. People can be so rude and harsh when hiding behind a screen! Bravo to you for taking the time to write this post and I hope that Mom sees it and takes some hope in from it.
Thank you so very much Brandi and thanks for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
I saw that photo too and all the comments pissed me off, quite frankly, but then I knew the story already. As humans, we are so quick to judge others not knowing the full story and that’s simply not fair. I love, love, love that you wrote her a letter!
Thank you so very much for your kind words about the letter and I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
Hopefully your kind words made it to this woman especially since she was under attack. I think it’s so easy for people to attack mother’s without really knowing what’s going on. We need more support and empowerment instead of spending our time breaking people down.
Kimberly Love
Hi Kimberly! Thank you so very much for taking the time to read and comment and for agreeing with the message. This world and most definitely all the mothers/women/parents in it, deserve so much support and to feel empowered. 🙂
What a such a great person you are, thank you for standing against these disgusting people, but i haven’t seen the picture tho!
Thanks, Frank. But, I promise you, I am just an average person. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! 🙂
I couldn’t agree with you more! People seem to forget how hard women work to keep our babies happy and satisfied. We would give up our lives if we had too for our children. There is nothing wrong with resting after carrying around a small child in the airport. Believe it or not, Mothers are human and get tired! God Bless this mother and I wish her and mothers all of the world a pat on the back for being who they are!
Thanks so much for commenting, Karen. I so agree with your sentiment here. 🙂
This is awesome. Love this
Thanks so much, Lynn. 🙂