A “damsel in distress”. You never want to be one. You are also probably really sick and tired of seeing them in real-life or portrayed in movies, and you darn sure don’t want your daughter to ever be one.
I’ve posted a lot of articles about raising daughters. I have two, and more than anything I want them to grow up being strong, self-sufficient, graceful, well-respected, and happy women. But, I most definitely do not want them ever desiring to be a damsel in distress. I never want them to think or believe that a woman needs someone other than herself to take care of her and fulfill her. I never want them to think that being a “damsel in distress” is attractive. I want for them to know and understand that they have inside of them the power to care for and gratify oneself.
According to the Urban Dictionary, a “damsel in distress” is “a stereotype of portraying an unmarried female who needs to be saved”. Well first off, let’s get rid of any freakin’ stereotypes. I hate stereotypes. I like to defy them and I like to observe others doing the same. Stereotypes do nothing but standardize and set in place unrealistic and inaccurate expectations. Stereotypes hold people back and negate their ambition. This is not good. Secondly, everyone has inside of them the ability to “save” (which has an extremely different meaning for all people) oneself.
The idea that a woman, married or unmarried, should be waiting around or alternatively, actively searching for a man or a woman, or a specific pre-defined (in her mind) “someone” to fulfill her is erroneous and ludicrous, and completely unproductive. Raise your daughters to be damsels making damage instead of damsels in distress. And by “damage” I mean making waves, making differences, making things happen for themselves and for their community, and the world.
I’m Not A Princess
What are some real-life examples of ways in which we can erase the idea from our daughters’ minds that damsels in distress are attractive, and instead be striving for individuality:
- Model self-sufficiency.
- Exemplify strength.
- Be steadfast and vocal about your opinions.
- Stay true to your values.
- Never wallow in tragedy or amidst challenges for very long.
- Don’t play the victim card.
- Be responsible for your own attitude and happiness.
Thankfully most of the time, I don’t see too many damsels in distress walking around. I am so grateful for this. I am so appreciative of the fact that most of the women that my daughters and I observe seem to hold strong beliefs in themselves; seem to be driven; seem to have purpose; seem to be confident and proud of their status as a woman.
“I’m not a princess. I don’t need saving. I’m a queen. I got this [stuff] handled.” – Anonymous
Don’t Call Me A Princess
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Great article. I too have two daughters and while I want them to find a great guy and have a family, i also want them to be strong, independent and courageous. I want them to “make waves” like you say. Great read!
Thank you so much for the comment and kind words, Charlyse. I am so very glad that you found this relatable and that you enjoyed it! Thanks again for taking the time to read it. 🙂
Wow, more people should think like you. Nowadays what I see happening a lot is that mothers raise their daughters to be independent and strong, but raise their sons to find a nice woman who will take care of them. Which means there is a disparity going on. I agree with you, we need to be whole, happy and satisfied on our own. Then we can find a partner to share that happiness with us, instead of being the source of it, or being our saviors! 🙂
Thanks so much for the comment, Fernanda! I have two daughters and a son and I more than anything want the same thing for all of my children — for them to be independent, strong, self-sufficient, respectful and respected. And, of course, HAPPY! Thanks so much again for taking the time to read and comment! 🙂
So so like this article..my thoughts put into words!!
I am a mother of an 18mo old and don’t like reading any of “damsel in distress” books to her(I read to her daily). I read her different kind of books on animals, vehicles etc but no to fairy tales.
Nice post!
Thank you so much for the comment! I am so appreciative that you enjoyed the article so much! Thanks for taking the time to read and tell me your thoughts! Much appreciation! 🙂
Brilliant article. I couldn’t agree more with what you’ve said.
Thank you so much, Krista! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! 🙂
I completely agree! I have an 18mo old daughter and thankfully, she is taking after her brother and is very independent! Great post!
Thank you so much for the comment, Megan. I have two daughters and my youngest is right around 18 months as well and just like yours, she is super independent! Glad you enjoyed the post! 🙂
Love this post. I don’t have kids and I am not married yet. Life circumstances turned my life upside down a while ago. The subject of marriage came up several occasions as it was a possible solution. But, I am not gonna get married just to get out of my situation. I will never play the damsel in distress card ( and I will teach my daughters the same if I ever have kids in the future). We are fully capable of slaying our own dragon.
Thank you so much for commenting, Herlina and I am so appreciative of the fact that you enjoyed this post. I agree with you that we are fully capable of slaying our own dragons and raising our own dragons if and when that time comes for us. Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts and I am so glad that you enjoyed the post. Thanks again for commenting. 🙂