I want you to WHINE.
And, I want you to WINE.
Aren’t you lucky to have a friend like me? I am encouraging you to be unpleasant and complain AND I am promoting your love for fermented grapes. I am the world’s best BFF, right?
Truth is, we all need a friend like this. And, if you can find more than one, well you are one lucky person.
Growing up, I didn’t have too many close girlfriends, but all that changed when I became a parent. Not that I have numerous ones now, but I do have some amazing women in my life that I support and that support me. We are our own little tribe — our own little supportive, empathetic, relatable tribe.
Mom friends are important. Dad friends are important. It is, generally, important for parents to have friends — to have a person or people to relate or vent to outside of our family and our spouse.
Are there certain qualities that you should be looking for or hoping to find in a friend that you meet later on in life? Yes, but it’s simple and this is what it is:
A good friend is one who will let you whine AND wine.
Now, I know that not all of us drink. Okay…most of us drink, but yes, there are those that choose to keep their drinks non-alcoholic and that is perfectly fine and respectable. When I say “wine”, let that mean to you anything that suits your fancy — be it to eat a cheesesteak, have a cup of hot tea, spend some time at the ball park — whatever it is that calms you down and brings you some peace and pleasure.
Listen, I totally subscribe to the “less complaining more dealing with it” type-motto when it comes to life. But, life in general is hard and life as a parent is tough. And, there is something about being able to discuss life’s challenges and your personal challenges with other human beings on your same wavelength that will put you at ease.
You know what else is cool? Sometimes we even find friends, people in our lives, who are on a different wavelength, and we still find comfort in confiding in them. Why? Because they are able to help us — help us to see alternative perspectives and help us to understand a point of view we may not have otherwise.
The point that I hope I make is that you need to find “your people”. Whether they are members of your family, parents of your children’s friends that you have grown close to, or even your online community that you reach out to for advice and encouragement. Whoever your people are…they need to be present for you…they need to be available to you…for all of the whining and wine-ing that you need and want to do.
They don’t have to be your personality twin. They don’t have to hold every single value that you do. They don’t have to think the same way you do about things. All they need to do to prove their worth and be deserving of your friendship is to let you whine and let you wine.
Do you have a friend, group of friends, or community that lets you whine and wine? Let me know in the comments and then share this post with them and let them know that you appreciate them!