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Home » Raising Kids » When Your Friends Don’t Like Your Kids

07/25/2017 8 Comments

When Your Friends Don’t Like Your Kids

Do you ever feel like your family dynamic just repels people? Is it hard for you and your husband to make friends because people without children don’t “get” your life, and people with children who are older than yours don’t desire to be around young ones so much anymore?

I don’t mean that to sound harsh or self-deprecating, but I think it is a true reality for some, myself included. For example, a family with young children can easily exhaust a couple with no kids. The same goes for friends whose children have outgrown the infant/toddler stage.

Well, don’t lose all hope. You will not be stuck in this unfortunate stage of friends being turned off by your family dynamic forever, but there are things that you can do now to encourage, breed, and even sustain friendships while your children are young.

Here are a few steps that you can take to make and maintain friendships while parenting young kids:

Step 1: Let people know that you are a “family under construction”. What does this mean? It means you have to preempt any get-togethers, meetings, and outings with your friends by informing them that you have young children and that there are a few things they can expect such as crying, whining, tantrums, running, distraction, screaming… this list goes on.

Step 2: Don’t let your children control you or the “play-date”. Remain in control — your friends will admire this. Even if your child is clinging to your leg and screaming at you, continue to finish your conversation so that your friends understand that just because you have children doesn’t mean you value their friendship any less.

Step 3: Find humor in the craziness. Make fun of yourself, your children, and your family as appropriate. Your friends will respect and appreciate that you don’t take yourself and the woes of parenthood too seriously, and will ultimately find you and your children’s presence joyful (well, for the most part).

Step 4: Don’t fake the “perfect” family or model children. Your friends will see right through this BS. Alternatively, they will appreciate so much more your genuineness about the current challenges you are facing with regard to parenthood.

Step 5: Don’t force your children on your friends. Know your friends’ boundaries, and sure as heck don’t allow your children to climb on them, yell in their face, be disrespectful (purposefully or not), or destroy their home/belongings. Your friends will appreciate that you value what is important to them.

Step 6: Allow for breaks. Yes, your friends will need breaks from you and your kids, and the madness that typically follows you around. This is okay. Let them have their time and space and do not take offense.

Step 7: Be understanding. Be understanding that your friends may not understand or want to hear all of your parenting troubles. Nor do they want to hear of your triumphs. Don’t judge them too harshly for this.

Step 8: Remind yourself that it won’t be like this forever. Know that this time will pass and that your children will grow up. You and your kiddos will not always be a traveling circus show.

I hope I have provided you some encouragement to go out there and make some more friendships, or to at least maintain the ones that you already have. 🙂

 

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Filed Under: Raising Kids Tagged With: dad friends, encouragement, friends, humor, inspirational, making friends, mom friends, parent friends, parenting, parenting humor

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Vikki says

    07/25/2017 at 6:19 am

    I can so relate to this. So interesting and reassuring to know others suffer the same issues. My coping strategy is to inject humour as you say, but also my biggest tip is also in agreement with you – don’t try to pretend to be the perfect family – no one is !

    Reply
    • jthreeNMe says

      07/25/2017 at 6:38 am

      Thanks for commenting, Vikki and I am so glad you found this relatable! I love that you and I share some of the same coping strategies! Like you said — its nice to know we are not alone in this! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Linda says

    07/25/2017 at 12:41 pm

    I like number 4 but there are so many parents put there – especially on social media who do feel theneed to fake perfection 🙁

    Reply
  3. jthreeNMe says

    07/25/2017 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks for commenting, Linda! I have to admit that I am guilty of the occasional “perfect” seeming post, but I am sure to balance those out with enough posts and videos of my kids mid-tantrum, crying and acting crazy. I am also sure to let anyone around us know just how much of a “ship show” and circus act we are! Haha.

    Reply
  4. Lynn says

    07/25/2017 at 6:58 pm

    Ahhh, I’m not the only one who has experienced this! I have friends whose kids I don’t particularly like, and I’m sure some of my friends feel the same about my kids. I’ve found its also harder to get a whole family to bond when our kids are different ages or sexes. But yes, they will get older, and this will pass. Now that my kids are 13 and 10, it has helped to allow them to invite a friend over so my husband and I can enjoy socializing with another set of parents.

    Thank you for the great read!

    Reply
    • jthreeNMe says

      07/25/2017 at 9:46 pm

      Hi, Lynn! Thank you for taking the time to comment and for your honesty with regard to this topic! I totally agree with you that different aged children and children of different sexes make it totally hard to enjoy friendly get togethers. At least, like you said, your kids are getting older to where you have found what works for you all so that your husband and you can make and maintain friendships, but so can your children. I have at least another six or seven years to go before I get there… Thanks again so much for commenting!

      Reply
  5. Amanda says

    07/25/2017 at 11:01 pm

    This I found really interesting. I do not have kids, but am thinking of having them in a few years. I am constantly worried about how that will affect my relationships. I am always worried that my friends who hate kids will end up leaving me. Good to know that there are tips to help with that. Thank you!

    Reply
    • jthreeNMe says

      07/26/2017 at 7:31 am

      Thanks for commenting, Amanda and I am glad you found it interesting! 🙂

      Reply

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